These are the vignettes I collected while visiting South Korea, the small subjective things you won’t find in any South Korea guidebook.
Se o ul
For years I said it in three careful syllables. Se. O. Ul. Exactly as it looked on the page, because the page was where I learned it. Nobody ever corrected me. It is Soul, which is either very fitting or very funny, depending on the day.
Elbow to elbow
You eat close in Korea. Tables pushed together, strangers at your shoulder, side dishes arriving faster than you can move your bag. It took me a while to stop apologising for taking up space.
Slippers
There are separate slippers for the bathroom. Wear them. This is not a suggestion.
French
There is a French bakery on every corner, and almost none of it is French. There is a Starbucks on every other corner, sometimes two facing each other, presumably keeping watch. Above all of it, at night, red neon crosses. I did not expect so many churches.
Shin-chan
He is everywhere. Shin-chan on socks, on phone cases, on a tote bag on the bus. I have never seen a country adopt a badly behaved cartoon child quite so completely. Ask a Korean, and they will call him Jjanggu, not Shin-chan, and you will feel foreign again for a moment.
Black
Everyone is wearing black. Beautifully.
Skincare
Skincare is an infrastructure. Korean couples are good-looking and know it. I have never felt more colourful and more wrong at the same time.
Are Koreans in a rush?
People push past without a word. No apology, no eye contact, no acknowledgement that you were briefly in the way. I decided it was not rushing, just efficiency. Then the same person handed me my change with two hands and a small bow, and I stopped trying to work it out.
Ice cold
The water arrives ice cold. Always. In a metal cup. In the middle of winter, when what I want is to be held.
One bean, two countries
Korean soybean soup is loaded with everything and eaten with a spoon. The Japanese version: you lift and drink. Same bean, different manners.
Heat
Cheongyang is the spiciest chilli in Korea. Gochujang is spicy, but not as spicy. You will understand the difference quite quickly.
Birthday soup
Koreans eat seaweed soup on their birthday because mothers drink it every day after giving birth. So the soup is not really for you. It is for her.
Kimchi in Winter
Winter is kimchi-making season, which means winter is a group activity.
Ham Box
Before a wedding, a box arrives at the bride’s family home from the groom’s side, packed with gifts. It is called a ham. Traditionally, the groom’s friends carry it over and refuse to hand it across the threshold until they have been fed and paid a little, which is a very charming way of saying they hold it hostage on the doorstep. Most modern versions are gentler. I still love that the box comes with a performance.
Busan is not Seoul
Different dialect, different cooking, even a different way the men and women carry themselves. Busan loves seafood, vegetables and seasoning, and does not apologise for any of it.
Money Things
Housing operates on a deposit system: a single, enormous lump sum instead of monthly rent.
Neighbours
Gangnam is one of the most expensive areas in the country. Bunsikjib is where you eat cheap and fast, GS25 is where you go for everything else, and there is a GS25 roughly every ninety seconds.
Small Joys
Banana milk. Bus rides, which are far more fun than the stations, and the stations are complicated. Ju se yo, please give me, the only phrase I actually needed.
Not for everyone
Korea is not for everyone. Neither is Singapore. I do not mean that as an insult to either of them.
Bookstore
I could not find English bookstores the way I find them in every other city.
Not-at-all Soul-less
It is a homogeneous society, and at times Seoul seems a little soulless.
Then I wake early and walk before the city does, and I understand exactly why they call it the Land of Morning Calm.
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