Melbourne culture does not announce itself. It sneaks in, one flat white at a time, until one day you catch yourself in head to toe black, calling a plate of eggs beautiful, and you realise you have assimilated.
I jotted this list in my 2022 journal (page 320, for the record), about six years into life here as an immigrant. I grew up in Indonesia and lived in Singapore, so none of this was default for me. Reading it back now, I can see exactly how the city got me.
1. Coffee
The first sign of Melbourne culture taking hold is that you develop an opinion about coffee. Not just liking it. Having a regular order, a regular café and a quiet judgement about everywhere else.
2. Soup for Breakfast
To be fair, Indonesians were already eating soto in the morning, so this one felt like coming home. What surprised me was Melbourne making it fashionable, with a winter bowl of something brothy on a brunch menu next to the smashed avo.
3. Caring About Other People
Melbourne taught me to say “how’s it going?” to strangers in lifts (even if I froze the first few times), to thank the bus driver, to check in. It is a small, steady kind of care that I did not expect from a big city.
4. Earrings
Statement earrings are practically a uniform here. Big, handmade, slightly odd, ideally bought from a local maker at a market. My jewellery box slowly filled up without me making a single conscious decision.
5. Wearing All Black
Every immigrant in Melbourne eventually gets the memo. Black coat, black jeans, black boots, repeat. It is practical for the weather that changes four times a day, and it is also, apparently, a personality.
6. Calling Food Beautiful
Back home, food was delicious, or not. In Melbourne, food is beautiful. A plate of heirloom tomatoes is beautiful. A croissant is beautiful. I resisted for a while, and then I said it about a bowl of soup and meant it.
7. Caring About Art
Melbourne culture puts art everywhere, in laneways, galleries, pop-up theatre and the side of a tram. Somewhere along the way I started planning weekends around exhibitions instead of shopping centres, and that is a very un-Jakarta thing for me to do.
8. Subscribing to Frankie Magazine
Nothing says assimilated like a stack of Frankie on the coffee table. The soft paper, the quirky illustrations, the essays about feelings. I subscribed, and I kept every issue.
9. Shopping Second-Hand
Op shops are a way of life here, and nobody is embarrassed about it. If anything, finding a good coat for ten dollars is a bragging right. I went from buying everything new to treating a second-hand store like a treasure hunt.
10. A Vegan-Friendly Life
I am not vegan, but Melbourne made me vegan-friendly. Every group dinner has someone who doesn’t eat meat, every menu has a plant-based column, and I learned to order around both without a second thought. Some of the best meals I have had here had no meat at all.
11. Milk Alternatives
Oat, almond, soy, macadamia. Ordering a coffee here involves a small quiz, and at some point I started answering it with confidence. Regular milk now feels like the alternative.
12. Houseplants
Melbourne apartments are small and the winters are grey, so everyone fills their homes with green. I went from one sad succulent to a windowsill I check on every morning like a nervous parent.
13. Hipster Culture
The beards, the vinyl, the small-batch everything, the café with no sign out front. I used to watch it from a distance. Then I bought a record player. Enough said.
Assimilating into Melbourne culture never felt like losing anything. I still pack chilli in my carry-on and still eat with my hands at home. Melbourne just added layers, a black coat over a batik shirt. Maybe that is what being an immigrant here means, not becoming someone else, but becoming a little more of a Melburnian every year without noticing.
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